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Trusting Their Own Abilities
6 Tips for Asset-Focused Parenting
By Dawna Markova
As a nation, our attention on our children has shifted – from what might be natural assets to be developed in them, to what deficits need to be fixed. We are all wired differently. As such, an "asset-focused" parenting revolution is on the rise to help us remember to focus on what works. We can truly help our children succeed by going with the particular grain of their minds to help them to overcome challenges and foster their unique gifts. The message is that they don't have to master everything, but they can learn to trust in their own abilities.
Here are just a few ways you can continue to help your children's forward movement so they can develop relationships of trust with their own minds:
- Instead of focusing on what goes wrong, begin to study and amplify what's right about both you and your child. As you tuck your child into bed, ask for and share three things that went right during the day.
- With your child, begin a joint study of the causes of positive events. What about his studying for that math exam made it possible for him to get such a great score? What was it that made you feel so excited about what happened at work? What made it possible for your daughter to learn to play soccer so readily? Was it watching someone else, or being told how to make a particular play before she had to do it? How did he and she resolve that fight instead of beating up on each other?
- Post "strength" stickies on the refrigerator, a different color for each member of the family. A strength is anything a person does that gives them energy when they do it, and that they've always been able to do really well.