- my iParenting
- quick clicks
- preschoolers today articles
- preschoolers today q&a
- children today articles
- children today q&a
- community & groups
- research baby names
- prepare a birth plan
- content channels
- ip channel rss feeds
- read birth stories
- read parenting stories
- recommended books
- e-newsletters
- safety recalls
- ip diaries
- ip store
- mom of the month
- dad of the month
- editor's letter
- letters to the editor
From Our Sponsors
- e-newsletters
- Sign up to receive our free weekly e-newsletters
- award-winning products
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families.
Trusting Their Own Abilities
6 Tips for Asset-Focused Parenting
By Dawna Markova
It is important to understand that recognizing assets is not the same as giving praise or compliments. To praise is to give generalized compliments about a child in order to make him or her feel good. "You're so cute." "What a handsome young man." "Oh your picture is beautiful." I think of praise like candy. It may taste good, but it doesn't nourish. Consuming too much can spoil a child's appetite. Recognizing assets, on the other hand, is noticing what specifically is true about a child's abilities, what he or she has accomplished, learned and achieved, his or her patterns of success.
Recognizing your child's assets does not require you to become a different or better parent, merely that you shift what you are paying attention to. Rather than worrying that your child won't measure up to other children, won't get into a good college, won't do well on the test, you can "worry well," by thinking about what he or she does do well and wondering how to grow that. You and your child will be having conversations that will help you both investigate the pattern of what works and apply it to situations where something doesn't work.