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Home › Articles › Back to School Headquarters › Relational Aggression

Relational Aggression

Helping the Young Victims of Emotional Bullying

By Jenn Director Knudsen

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  • Bullies identified by age 8 are six times more likely to be convicted of a crime by 24 years of age and five times more likely than non-bullies to end up with serious criminal records by age 30, according to a 2000 Maine Project Against Bullying report.
  • If interventions don't occur before a child turns 8, the child is likely to develop delinquent behavior and require more intensive and expensive programs later in life, according to a 2000 report by the Center for Effective Collaboration and Practice.

    Ludwig discovered not only that Allie was not alone, but also that bullying occurs often and early on in a child's life.

    It's a Girl Thing
    Though boys engage in relational aggression, too, most often it's young girls who do so; boys tend to take out their aggression in physical ways, says Linder. "From a very young age, girls receive the message that 'girls should be nice,'" she says. "As a result, when they become angry, rather than using direct forms of aggression, they resort to covert forms ... to maintain a facade of 'niceness.' Relational aggression is the ultimate form of covert aggression."

    And relational aggression can start as early as preschool, says Kathie Masarie, a mother of two grown children and a pediatrician who gave up her medical practice in 1997 to start Full Esteem Ahead, a Beaverton, Ore.-based nonprofit dedicated to supporting youth and encouraging healthy self-esteem through adolescence.

    Children as young as 4 are capable of harming a peer from a power position, says Masarie, who collaborates with Ludwig on presentations and written teaching materials for the schools.


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