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Home › Articles › Back to School Headquarters › Relational Aggression

Relational Aggression

Helping the Young Victims of Emotional Bullying

By Jenn Director Knudsen

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Kids are copycats, so one powerful tool a parent can use to curb bullying and teach empathy is modeling. For example, kids overhear their parents gossiping to other adults and might turn speaking poorly of a friend or relative into a bullying tactic on the playground at school.

"We wouldn't have a kid problem if the adults were being appropriate," says Masarie.

Likewise, if parents include their children in a goodwill project – such as gathering clothes for and bringing them to the homeless – the little ones can make a physical connection between something they have that others need even more. They could learn to empathize with a less-fortunate individual.

This also could be an opportunity to teach young kids the importance of respecting all people, whether less smart, less well-heeled or less fashionable than you, Butcher emphasizes.

My Secret Bully as a Teaching Tool
Taking advantage of available resources, such as reading Ludwig's book to your child (or in the classroom, for teachers), is another way to curb bullying. My Secret Bully, though fiction, is the thinly veiled story of Ludwig's daughter, Allie. The book chronicles an active elementary-school girl named Monica whose "friend" Katie bullies her until Monica no longer wants to go to school and complains of feeling sick all the time:

"Last month, for the third day in a row, I told my mom that I had a bad stomachache and didn't feel good enough to go to school," Monica narrates in the middle of the book.


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