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Inside The Mind of A Bully

An Interview

By Donna Smith

Q. Did any of these kids ever stand up to you?

Troy: I had many people stand up to me. Eventually, I ended up beating them down. Then something changed. When someone stood up as I got older, I respected that. And some of these people became my closest friends. I wasn't afraid they would beat me up. I was happy that for the first time someone didn't just let me run amuck and let me step all over them.

Q. This made you happy?

Troy: Bullying is a lonely business, and I was happy the day I swallowed pride and stepped back from a fight. Again, it was because I had finally come around people I could respect. To this day we have conversations about "the old days." They tell me that they knew full well that I was gonna' kill them, but they had just about enough and would die shutting me up.

Q. What consequences did you suffer from being a bully?

Troy: This question brings tears to my eyes to this day. In fact, I just spent the holidays in my hometown and discussed this very thing with my old friends. My biggest regret is the way lives have been changed because of my actions. I created complexes in people who carry them around to this day. I once got into a fight with a kid I grew up with. He was the smartest kid in school, just as big, and well taught in martial arts, but I beat him to a bloody pulp. He never recovered emotionally and dropped outof school because of the shame. We have friends in common and he still talks about it. It's hard to deal with the fact that things you did as a stupid kid will have and have had long lasting effects on people.

Want to see more?

• How to Handle Bullies, Teasers and Other Meanies A Book that Takes the Nuisance out of Name Calling and Other Nonsense -- excerpts from the book by Kate Cohen-Posey
• Read parts two of our bullying series.
• Read parts one of our bullying series
• We also have a review of the book for dealing with bullies.
• We also have a discussion forum for dealing with bullies.