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Plan Against Predators
How to Protect Your Child From Harm
By Julia Rosien
You've given up trying to hug your preteenager in front of his friends. Eight o'clock bedtimes disappeared with sensible fashion. He walks to his friend's house alone and may even go to a movie theater without his parents sitting in the next row. Yet, he's still a child even if he won't admit it, and he still needs protection and guidance to weather one of the most difficult times of his life.
"There is a fine line between preparing children for the dangers of the world and plain old scaring them," says Vivian Friedman, Ph.D., family psychologist at the University of Alabama at Birmingham. "While a certain amount of judicious caution is required, it isn't necessary for preteens to worry about events they may never encounter."
By the time the preteen years arrive, most kids know the difference between good and bad touching. But it may be a good idea to re-open the discussion using a vocabulary they can relate to: Have you heard about kids getting messed with by adults? Do you think this could happen to you?
After discussing what could happen, present the facts.
"Tell your child one out of three girls and one out of six boys nationally has been touched in a threatening or sexual way before the age of 18," says family therapist Kate Cohen Posey. "Ask her if she thinks this is higher or lower in her neighborhood."
This discussion shows your child that you're willing to talk about her feelings and ideas on the issue.
"I've talked to my daughter about good and bad touching since she could understand the words," says Barbara Watson of Charleston, S.C. "She's 11 now and knows the basic concept of rape – that there are 'bad men' that could try to take advantage of her."