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Sexual Abuse
How to Prevent It
By Julia Rosien
Remember to talk about all body parts on even terms. Pet names for genitalia passively teach children to feel shame about their body. At the same time, don't overload them. "Keep the communication open but respect their signals indicating when they want to stop. Don't force the issue and tell them more than they can handle," Jacobs says.
How do you protect your child from an adult who wants to hurt him? Involve yourself. Before you leave your child with any group or organization, meet the leaders. Learn their names and get to know them. Don't leave as soon as you drop him off. Stay for a few minutes, and watch how everyone interacts. Come back early and watch the wrap-up. Jacobs says this isn't paranoia. "A responsible parent checks up and knows what is going on."
When your child comes home from a camping trip or day excursion, ask questions. "Where did you sleep? Who did you chum around with?" Keep it light and conversational. Never directly question a child about abuse. If a child has experienced something, open communication will unlock the door quicker than threatening questions.
In reality, we can provide our children with only limited protection. As they grow older and spread their wings, they spend time with more people without you. Involve your children in developing a flexible personal safety program and include discussion of "what if?" scenarios. Give them options.
| Sexually abused children exhibit a variety of physical and behavioral signals. No one signal proves that abuse has occurred, but a cluster of persistent signals may alert you that something is wrong. Physical indicators include difficulty walking or sitting; bruises or bleeding in the genital area or on breasts or thighs; torn, stained or bloody clothing. Absence of these indicators does not preclude ongoing abuse. Some children hide their discomfort to protect the abuser. Behavioral indicators include disturbed sleep patterns; sudden phobias; re-enactment of abuse, using dolls, drawings or friends; or regression to more infantile behavior such as bed-wetting, thumb sucking or excessive crying. Threats keeps some children quiet. For others, a guilty pleasure at the outset of abuse prevents them from talking. |