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The Myth of Giftedness

Do You Want a Gifted or Hardworking Child?

By Jim Taylor, Ph.D.

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Instead of emphasizing your children's giftedness ("You are so smart."), you should talk to them about the attitudes and skills – which are under their control – that they will need to fully realize their talents ("You worked really hard on that project."). Gifted children will only achieve true success if they enjoy the area of their natural talent, choose to pursue their talent, develop the skills necessary to maximize their gifts and make every effort to fully realize their abilities. If your children aren't gifted, that's fine too, because they may have talents that haven't yet been discovered, and if they learn the right skills, they can still do their best and become successful.

Potential Is a Pipe Dream
Another word that is closely linked to "giftedness" is "potential." I regularly hear parents, teachers and coaches saying, "She has unlimited potential." But as a basketball coach once said, "All potential means is that you haven't done a darned thing yet." When children are labeled as having potential, they're being told that they have something that they might not have and are being saddled with an expectation that they may not be able to fulfill. Saying children have potential is aying that we can predict who will become successful with great certainty. Yet we're lousy at predicting who becomes successful in school, sports, the arts or any other achievement area.

Think of all of the "can't miss" kids who missed. For example, National Football League teams spend millions of dollars each year trying to identify which college players will become superstars, yet these efforts often go for naught. Ryan Leaf was considered "a sure thing" as the No. 2 pick in the 1998 draft by the San Diego Chargers, and yet he was a flop from the start and is now out of professional football.

I recommend that you erase the word "potential" from your vocabulary as well. Instead, I use the phrase "fully realize their ability." This means that whatever ability your children were born with – and no one knows how much ability any child has – the goal is to help them do everything they can to fully realize that ability.

It's About Hard Work

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