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Five-finger Discount

Dealing with Stealing

By Marie-Helen Goyetche

-- Children learn early to dare other children or to tell them they must prove themselves in order for them to fit in.

-- Lack of self-esteem coupled with personal, home or school problems sometimes cause children to steal. Even negative attention is attention, and these children desperately need to be noticed.

It's important to make it clear to kids that stealing isn't okay, but it's just as important not to over-react. How can parents find the right balance?

"Start early, before an incident happens, by discussing what's acceptable and what isn't in your household," Dr. Barbezieux explains. "Tell your child what your beliefs are. Keep your discussions brief. Ask your child how he would feel in this situation. Try to get a sense of empathy for the owner. It's not a pleasant experience to have your things taken away from you, is it?"

Set your limits now before something happens. Values such as honesty, sensitivity and friendliness must be established as early as possible. Help them understand the concept of ownership. If you see your child take a toy away from a friend, immediately make him return it. Use this opportunity to teach about ownership, respect and sharing.

Discuss the consequences of stealing. Explain that stealing hurts people: the victim who lost a toy and the child who can't share a stolen toy both suffer. Teach your child that he won't be "in" with his peers if he steals. Help him select good friends who will support him and not push him to bad behaviors.

Model for your children how you would lik