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Five-finger Discount
Dealing with Stealing
By Marie-Helen Goyetche
e them to behave. If you take pens and paperclips from your office, you're effectively teaching that stealing little things is okay.
Use storybooks and fables as tools to model, and give examples. Role-playing can transmit important messages to your child, all while having fun. Ask questions using why, when, what and how to get their thinking in gear.
"We talked to Max about taking things that didn't belong to him," says Claude. "We explained how that little girl's mother might punish her if she didn't have her money. It made Max feel bad to think he had caused her trouble."
"In a situation where your child has taken something, the best way to deal with it is by letting your child give back the item," says Dr. Barbezieux. "Let him feel responsible for his actions and take the consequences. Take away a privilege, and let him know this was very serious. But don't over-react or dwell on it [once you have dealt with the incident]."
Claude felt it was important for Max to return the money. "The next morning, we brought him to the principal's office to confess," he says. "Max gave back the money and faced the consequences of his actions."
Dr. Barbezieux notes that you should be patient and understanding with your child. "Depending on just what the child can understand and his maturity level, chances of a reoccurrence is high," he says. "Many children will do it again to test how their parents will react. Be consistent with your explanations and your expectations."
Learning about the right and wrong actions in life is a part of growing up. Remember to show support and the unconditional love you feel for your child. It's the behavior you don't approve of -- not your child.