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Protecting the Innocents
How to Talk to Your Kids About Disaster
By Laurie Dove
"Pow! Fire!" said my toddler son, eyes widened, starfish hand outstretched to the television screen. Like millions of Americans, he and I tuned in September 11 expecting the prattle of morning news anchors and found disaster: a live picture of the second airplane bludgeoning the World Trade Center.
In the aftermath, as jet fighters flew patrols over New York and Washington and warships steamed along the Atlantic and Pacific coasts in case they needed to protect major cities from another wave of suicide attacks, parents like myself grappled with another terror: explaining an evil act to wide-eyed innocents.
My 7-year-old daughter had her own logic. She knew immediately that it must be an accident, for no one would intentionally do such a harmful act. She was wrong. But how much should I tell her? What did she need to know?
According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychology, it is important to acknowledge the frightening parts of a disaster when talking with a child; falsely minimizing the danger will not end a child's concerns.
Several factors affect a child's response to a disaster, including:
- Parental reaction: The way children see and understand their parents' responses is very important. Children are aware of their parents' worries most of the time, but they are particularly sensitive during a crisis. Parents should admit their concerns to their children and also stress their abilities to cope with the situation.
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