728x90
my iParenting
From Our Sponsors
e-newsletters
Sign up to receive our free weekly e-newsletters

new terms of use
new privacy policy
award-winning products
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families.
Home › Articles › You and Your Children › Teaching Tolerance

Teaching Tolerance

Closing the Book on Hate

By Kelly D. Burgess

Pages:  1  2  3  

One of the parents who helped put the program together was Rosemary Alpert. She has a personal interest in teaching tolerance because she's Catholic, her husband is Jewish, and they are raising their two children to embrace both religions.

"For very young children, the lesson can be as simple as teaching them not to tease," says Alpert. "As they get older that can be expanded upon to include the issue of cliques and standing up for those who are being left out."

Under the Skin

Stern-LaRosa also suggests games such as an exercise the American Defamation League does with 4-year-olds. Each child is given a lemon and given time to "get to know their lemon." The children spend about 10 minutes playing with the lemon, rolling it around, throwing it or whatever else they want to do. Then, all the lemons are put into a bucket, and the children are asked to find their lemon. Amazingly, they always can. When asked how they knew it was theirs, the children can point out specific characteristics of their lemon, such as lumps, bruises or color differences. The leader notes that people can also be different but once you get to know them, they become special to you.

Then they peel the lemons. After dealing with the issue of "naked lemons," a concept sure to crack up any normal 4-year-old, they ask the children to again pick out their lemons. This time they can't because they all look the same. And that, says Stern LaRosa, is the point. We're all the same on the inside.

"It's a 15-minute exercise but it stays with a child for life," said Stern-LaRosa. "Teaching tolerance is not about lecturing, it's about exposing them to a variety of cultures and being a good example. If you treat everyone with respect, your children will too."

Tips for Teaching Tolerance

  • Examine your own biases. Stern-LaRosa says there is no such thing as a bias-free person, but when we start to look at our own attitudes we can begin to turn them around.
  • Look at your community and ask yourself if your child is truly living in a diverse world. If not, why not? What can you do about it?
  • Accept and respect your child's differences. Children learn what they live.
  • Talk about issues of tolerance when your children are very young. There are many books that can help start a dialogue. The Web site for Barnes and Noble's "Close the Book on Hate" campaign has dozens of choices suitable for all ages.
  • Be involved at your child's school. Urge educators to include programs and workshops that deal with exclusionary problems at school, such as cliques. Many states are adopting educational standards that make tolerance issues a required part of the curriculum. For resource information, visit the Anti-Defamation League's Classroom of Difference Web site.
  • Listen to your children for signs of intolerance. The issue needs to be addressed if your child makes biased or exclusionary comments, but in a way that doesn't make him or her feel demeaned. Hate Hurts is an excellent resource for dealing with these issues from toddlers to teens.
  • Listen to your children for signs of victimization. Is your child withdrawn, upset or suddenly dislikes going to school? He or she may be a target of teasing or other forms of cruel behavior. Try to find out the reason and deal with it appropriately.
  • Realize that most people who seem to be intolerant, for example, those that tell racist jokes, don't realize they're hurting anyone. They didn't set out to offend anyone, just to make them laugh. Learn appropriate ways to respond.
  • Hate is pervasive in the media, from rap songs with misogynistic lyrics to sitcoms that stereotype various ethnic or social groups. For younger children, screen their viewing, for older children, initiate discussions about what they're watching and hearing.
  • The Internet is also a hotbed of hate-related sites. Monitor your child's Internet use. If that is not possible, take the time to block sites that are offensive. Most search engines have that option readily available.


Pages:  1  2  3  


Want to see more?