quick clicks

preschoolers today articles

preschoolers today q&a

children today articles

children today q&a

message boards

research baby names

prepare a birth plan

content channels

ip channel rss feeds

read birth stories

read parenting stories

recommended books

e-newsletters

safety recalls

ip diaries

ip store

mom of the month

dad of the month

editor's letter

letters to the editor

Diane's Diary Entries Diary Navigation: Choose A Diary Entry -------------------- Latest Entry: 4/24/00 -------------------- 4/10/00 4/4/00 3/26/00 2/27/00 2/15/00 2/6/00 1/23/00 1/11/00 1/2/00 12/27/99 12/21/99 12/10/99 11/27/99 11/24/99 -------------------- Diane's Introduction

November 24, 1999

This week that has gone by has been a very complex one. Austin (my 7 year old) is simply more than a handful. I am constantly checking my parenting skills and rechecking them as far as he's concerned. I'm wondering to myself, am I creating this difficult child or is it just the age? I try to recall what I learned in college from Early Childhood Education and often find that I can't. Therefore, I scour the Internet in hopes of finding information I can use in my daily routines with him in order to counteract his need to defy every single thing I politely "ask" him to do or tell him to do. He always has a reason why he must postpone, prolong, or simply can't do what is asked of him. I ask him to shower and his response is after "whatever." Please brush your teeth, his response to that is he's hungry and needs to eat a snack first. Ever since he's been old enough to eat with us, he has been given an after dinner treat and nothing else. You would think that by age 7 he would grow tired of this excuse. I mean, he's never gotten the darn snack ... JUST BRUSH THOSE TEETH.

Every now again he lures me into an argument after I've lost my patience (one would have to have the patience of Saint with him) and then I find myself upset that I let it get to the point of arguing. After a full day with Alex (2) and Adam (1) I am simply exhausted and sometimes just don't have the energy to play his verbal warfare before, during, and after dinner. I've thought about keeping a log of all the recurring habits he has gotten himself into as far as defying me and them noting various techniques used to quell his heated emotion to find what works best. I haven't started it yet, but plan to by the start of next week. At this point I can pretty much predict when and what he is going to have a fit over and have even tried preparing myself ahead of time as to how I will handle it. The problem with this is that it has become such a lengthy process that I would need more than 24 hours in a day to constantly implement that tactic.

Take for instance dinner tonight. He came home from a friend's at about 5:30 p.m. or so when I was more than halfway done with dinner. Well, he decided he was too hungry to wait and insisted on having a snack before dinner. He wanted cheese (his favorite) and I told him no, that if he wanted he could have a yogurt. The storm began to brew and the battle began. In his highest pitched voice he informed me that yogurt would not do and only cheese would suffice. And besides, he hated stinking homemade chicken pot pie. (It's actually one of his favorites and that's why I made it) I tried to kid with him about how much he loves it and he would see once it was done. He stated again loudly that he hated it, was starving to death, and couldn't possibly eat it. That's when he spied leftovers in the fridge and said he would like to have that instead. I thought ... fine ... let him have that and when he realized what he passed up he would learn. I told him be careful of the choice you make. He ate some of the leftovers before he realized he really did like what I made. I told him that I was sorry, but he couldn't have it because he chose the leftovers and knew that by making that choice he was forgoing the chicken. He blew his stack again saying I was so mean and how could I do that to him.

What followed was a lengthy discussion of consequences (one we've had a thousand times) and how we must be responsible for the outcome of the choices we make, whether or not we like it. Keep in mind there were two other children who needed attention and dinner still to get on the table. I really just wanted to give him the darn cheese and whatever else he wanted. After the screaming and flinging himself bodily onto the floor and me not willing to meet his demands I think it finally dawned on him that he wasn't getting the chicken pot pie. He collected himself off of the floor, walked over to me, and in a very big boy way said to me that he realized that he made the wrong choice and had behaved badly over it. I thought about making him stand by his choice, but him coming to me admitting his choice was the wrong one seemed, to me, to be a lesson learned. At that point he was given his dinner. Whew!

Of course, there were the usual after dinner conflicts as well. Why do I have to read before getting cartoons ... why do I have to brush my teeth ... I want a snack ... all the while screaming every word. I had bought him a Pokemon keychain today which was used in our warfare. He was told if he screamed at me again in that tone he would lose it. Well, needless to say, he lost it and the screaming continued. It just kept going on until he simply got sent to his room for the night. I had enough and could not tolerate any more. To be defied on some things I can handle, but on every thing it's just too much. I sent him to bed without saying prayers with him, which is something I always do no matter what. Tonight with his rotten attitude I just couldn't do it, and he didn't even ask. Usually if I'm not in there immediately he calls for me. I can honestly say I was glad when he didn't. I told him I had enough of his rude behavior and I didn't want to see him or discuss anything else until tomorrow.

It is now 9:00 p.m. and it's quiet ... almost. Alex is sick. I'm curious to find whether there are any other parents with a child like mine. I'm hoping I do not stand in this ring alone. This week should prove to be very busy. I will keep you posted on the trials and tribulations we face this week.

Diane