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Home › Diaries › Diane's › December 27, 1999

Diane's Diary Entries

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December 27, 1999

I'd like to know whose idea it was to wrap one $10 plastic truck in $20 worth of plastic wrap and wires? There must be some earthquake-proof standard that all toys must pass before they are allowed on the shelves of local toy stores. I couldn't help but chuckle as I sat with scissors in hand unleashing each tire from its cocoon of plastic only to find that the body of the toy itself was also latched in securely to the indestructible laminated cardboard that held it captive. I was just about ready to go out to the shed to retrieve the axe when my husband finally suggested he take over. Gladly! With a thud, the toy landed at his feet, and I headed for the couch. I know when I am beaten. Once all the toys had been liberated, it was time to give them life. I read each box and found in the tiniest of print how many batteries each of these toys really took. I think the manufacturers make the printing of required Cs and AAs as small as possible so that we won't be dissuaded from buying the piece of junk. I looked at the price on my son's train that just two nights before I had gleefully purchased with visions of a smiling child in my head. I collected my bargain-priced toy and placed it in my cart. $30 for a rather large train seemed like a great deal to me. Of course, that was until I got the piece of crap home and noticed I needed to spend $12 more in batteries to make the train go. Several trips around its amazing 16 feet of track and it needed a C-cell lift. If I weren't barefoot at the time, I would have given it a size 6 1/2 across its caboose rather than spend another $12 to go around the track seven more times. Christmas is a manufacturer's dream come true. All of the stuff we would normally pass by, they get to liquidate at Christmas time, because as parents our minds are generally preoccupied on the thousands of things yet to be done in the 48-hour countdown before the big day that we couldn't possibly see anything in print so small we would actually have to concentrate to look at it. Batteries required.

Bah, humbug. Not only that, but one needs a degree in engineering just to get that toy out of the box.

Once the joy of Christmas morning had subsided, it was off the in-laws house. Oh joy! Joe and I decided two nights before to tell them about the new baby. We thought it was a good idea, since I'm entering the second trimester, and you can pretty much tell there's something brewing. They didn't seem at all surprised which led me to believe someone had already told them. For if they hadn't known, instead of hearing congratulations we would have heard something more along the lines of, "What are you nuts?" They seemed fine with the whole idea, and Joe's mother expressed once again her desire for a granddaughter. I'd like a girl too. Shhhh! We told Joe's grandmother Christmas night and she said, "I was going to ask you if you were having another baby, but I thought you were just getting fat." Thanks Grandma. It was actually funny the way she said it.

Dinner went fine, with the usual chit-chat over who was doing what and with whom. I'm the only SAHM in the family, so the talk of who is getting a promotion or a raise never comes my way. SAHM isn't something Joe's mother ever bargained for in her family. I think I fall somewhere between the garbage man and septic-cleaning man on her list of important people.

We were all sitting around the table when Joe's sister made some comment about how I could do an errand for someone else because I'm home all day. Grrr....Well I retorted with something along the lines of sure, I can do that ... after all, I sit at home all day eating bon-bons on the couch while watching the soaps. Joe's mother didn't like that too much because I was basically quoting her private remarks about me, but Joe's aunt who also had four children and stayed home with them got a good chuckle out of it. I haven't smiled that wide in a long time. I felt good.

All in all, Christmas was a huge hit with our boys, which is all that matters. All the other stuff that comes with it is sort of like stuffing at Thanksgiving. You make it because it's tradition, but most of it ends up in the garbage. Norman Rockwell -- eat your heart out!

See you next year!

Diane

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