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Jenna's Diary Entries Diary Navigation: Choose A Diary Entry -------------------- Latest Entry: 8/16/02 -------------------- 8/2/02 7/19/02 4/27/02 4/16/02 2/24/02 1/21/02 1/4/02 10/22/01 10/2/01 8/30/01 8/17/01 7/26/01 7/7/01 6/30/01 6/13/01 5/17/01 5/8/01 5/6/01 4/19/01 4/9/01 3/30/01 3/15/01 3/9/01 -------------------- Jenna's Introduction

April 19, 2001

April 19, 2001
Six years ago today, I sat in my living room in front of the television. Tears streamed down my face as I clutched my three month old son to my chest. I prayed. I prayed for people I'd never met. I prayed for some people I'll never have a chance to on this side of eternity. I held my son knowing that in Oklahoma City there were men and women who would never be able to hold their children--young or adult--again. I sat there rocking him with the knowledge that there were children who would never be able to be comforted by their mother or father again. Wept knowing there were husbands and wives who were now widows and widowers. I wept for their losses.

I ached to be there in Oklahoma City, to be one of the rescuers. I wanted to help so desperately. I felt so helpless. I know I did help in the only way I could--I prayed. I wish I could have done more. Along with the nation, with the world, I wanted to make the heartache of all those people go away. There was nothing I could do, but watch.

I don't know how long I sat in front of that TV. I don't remember everything I saw or thought. Smoke & blood. Everything was smoke and blood. I do remember pictures of babies pulled from the piles of concrete and steel. Babies who were too peaceful to have just been through all that horror. All I could think was "Does she still have a mommy?" It is the peace I think of most now. How could they be so at peace? I guess God knew what He was doing. If God can give tiny ones peace after a bombing He can surely give me peace in whatever I am going through.

Today, six years later at a few minutes after 10 am EST I sat again in front of the television. My attention was again fixed on Oklahoma City. Again, my son--now 6 years old--sat in my lap. With the rest of the nation, I watched and remembered. I thought of all the six-year-olds Oklahoma City is missing out on. My world has changed so much since them. I have lost a son, I have gained a son and a daughter. That tiny infant I held as I watched in horror is now reading, playing soccer--it's much harder to keep him in my lap than it was on April 19, 1995. Still, in 6 years it has come full circle for me. I still pray for the survivors and victims families. I pray that if it has not already, it will soon come full circle for them. I know that with God's help it can.

For those of us who do not know what it is like to lose a loved one in that way--and I pray we never will--let us hold onto what God has given us. Let us live every day as if it could be our last. Let us cherish each and every moment we have with those who are most important to us. Let us share our salvation with those who need it, and if you do not know what it means to have salvation, please ask someone. Let us not wait until we are standing at a memorial to say all the things we have meant to say. Live. Love. Share.
Jenna