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July 7, 2001
We have a real problem. Kirk seems to be getting angrier and angrier every day. Everyday I feel more and more out of control. It feels as if he is running the family. Maybe it is just that he is running me! I feel like he is always being punished for something. He's on restriction from TV or snacks, or is on time out for any given amount of time. He escalates the situation and I try to escalate the punishment, but it just gets to a point where I know it won't be carried out. It is crazy--months off TV, hours of timeouts. I try to give myself an out by saying he can "earn privileges back," but he never really earns them, they just come back because I get tired and give up.
What am I going to do? Kirk is violent when he gets angry. He's hitting me--not hard, but that is not the point. He is constantly saying he hates me. He stomps, slams door, throws things, flips chairs and that is just when he's told "No, you can't have a snack." or put on time out.
I know Kirk is hurting because his dad is gone. He is much closer to Wes than he is to me and that makes it much harder, I imagine. Right now I'm worried about ODD--Oppositional Defiant Disorder. We're going to have an initial visit with someone at the county children's mental health center Monday. I pray some good will come of it. I know I need help, too. Maybe together, Kirk and I can solve our anger problems.
Please keep us in your prayers.
Jenna
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