 | Diary Navigation:
|
October 12, 2004
October 12, 2004—Here we go again!
All right, this is probably going to be long and rambly, but I have tons going on and need to say lots of things. You have been forewarned. :-)
I’ll start with Joey, since this is supposed to be about him anyway. He’s been doing so much better with his reading. He’s recognizing words and is actually stopping to think before he just says a word. It’s very encouraging to see. He lost another tooth a couple of days ago, number 7. His teeth are all coming in pretty straight so far, so that’s a good sign. I have horrible gaps in my 4 front teeth (they are bonded right now) and I always hated my smile. I know, just my own vanity, but oh well. We haven’t really been making any forward progress with the bed wetting yet. We offer him a Yu-Gi-Oh card for the nights he stays dry, but it doesn’t really seem to make a difference. He stays asleep and pees. On a lighter note, but still serious, we’ve been sending money to school for Joey to get hot lunch and he eats breakfast at home. We got approved for the reduced lunch and send in enough every two weeks to cover the cost. Well, every couple of weeks we’d get a note home saying that Joey’s lunch account is short and I just assumed they weren’t taking into consideration that he got reduced prices. So, I place a call to the school after I got the third note and come to find out, he’s been eating breakfast every morning at school for at least a month. Remember, the kid eats at home before he gets on the bus. He even asked at the beginning of the school year if he could have breakfast at school and we told him no. So, he got into trouble for that one. He got his Yu-Gi-Oh cards taken away for a few days and no TV either. And, he has to pay back the $8.00 that the breakfasts cost. Brannen told him it was the same thing as stealing since he was taking something that cost money without asking. He felt bad for it and he made a point the very next day to tell me that he DID NOT eat breakfast at school that morning. He’s too cute. Yeah, a big PIA sometimes, but I love him to death.
You know, I really am a glutton for punishment. Brannen and I have decided to make a HUGE change in our lives. We are packing up in Indiana and headed out west, Oregon to be exact. We’re not unhappy here, just unfulfilled. We both can use the change and we’re moving in the next few weeks. His best friend lives out there, has offered us temporary housing, and we know that we’ll both be so much happier. We were just born 150 years too late. By the time we retire, we’ll have our cabin in the woods, our boat for the lake and trout fishing, and the happiness with just each other. We know that we would have been one of the first pioneers to explore the west after Lewis and Clark made their famous expedition with the help of George Drouillard (read “Sign Talker” by James Alexander Thom—he gives you a more intimate look at some of the other travelers besides Sacagawea and Lewis and Clark) and the rest of the gang. In fact, after we pick up Brannen’s tipi in Utah, we’re probably going to take the same trail that they did going up the Columbia River. I’m very excited about it. I love traveling.
I called my ex-husband last Friday and told him of our plans and that I wanted him to take Joseph for a few months (probably until the end of the school year-in Michigan) so we can have a chance to find jobs and get settled before we bring him out. I don’t want to be away from my 7 year-old for so long, but I’m not going to make him go through the drive out there, staying with people he doesn’t know, plus finding school and day care. Well, I was assuming Scott was going to drive down this weekend (the 16th), but he called me Saturday morning at 8:30 and told me he was already on the road. Well, we had 5 hours to pack most of Joey’s belongings (clothes and toys, mostly) and prepare him for going to his dad’s for some time. Fortunately, I talked to Joseph Thursday and Friday about it a little, so he really could have cared less. He loves his dad, no doubt there and plus now he gets to be with his grandma and grandpa most of the time. Scott lives about 20 minutes away from his parents, so they’ll be in heaven. They only have 2 grandkids and the other one is 18 or 19, so Joey really is the baby. I will miss him terribly, but I’m just trying to make a better life for us.
Now, the bad part is that I haven’t told my family and Brannen hasn’t told his yet. I’m nervous about telling them because they will all flip out (just like I would if it were one of them instead of me). Mom will be mad/sad that Joey is at his dad’s house instead of with me, my sisters will be very sad that they won’t get to see Joey for a long time, too. We won’t be back for Christmas and we’ll be long gone before Thanksgiving. I haven’t said anything at work yet either, just waiting until the time gets closer, but I will try to give as much of a 2 week notice as I can. We’re not sure yet what day we are leaving, the lease is up on my apartment on the 31st of this month and we still need to find storage for our furniture, plus we have to pay for repairs on Brannen’s car before we can even leave.
We’re pretty much going with the shirts on our backs, a few hundred dollars for food and gas, and some personal belongings we don’t want in storage. Yeah, this was kind of a last minute decision, but it’s the right one. We’ve been talking about it for months, but we weren’t ever going to plan anything for a couple of years. What changed, you ask? Not much, just both of us realizing that we’re not loving life like we should and now is the time to do something about it. All the little things have been falling into place so perfectly that I just can’t question it. Joey is taken care of, we’ll have the car fixed, we have a place to stay, our stuff will be in storage. The job market around here hasn’t been doing very well and there is no guarantee that it will be better out there, but at least we’ll be able to stay somewhere without having to pay rent and can save some money and just work our butts off for a while.
Ever since I left Las Vegas in 1997 (enlistment was up in the Air Force), I knew that I always wanted to head back out that way. I am finally with someone with the same drive and ambitions that I have. It’s very refreshing. Brannen is hoping to do something with the National Parks up there. He was supposed to move to Oregon several years ago with Larry (his best friend) and they were going to work and give tours in the mountains and things like that. A few days before he was supposed to leave, Brannen broke his lower leg/ankle so bad that it almost killed him. He slipped on some ice and shattered his bones right out of his skin. If it was 20 years ago, they would have amputated above the ankle and he almost bled to death before he was picked up by the ambulance. So obviously, he wasn’t going to go touring through the mountains any time soon. They put screws and a rod in his leg, and then had to go back in, remove the screws and take a section of bone out of the other lower leg bone since it wasn’t healing properly. Coincidentally, his accident happened two years and two days before I broke my arm and had to get the rod and screws placed in.
Well, the time has come for us to make that journey and realize our dreams. Larry is who we’ll be staying with, so I have no worries on that end. My biggest worry is just getting out there safely with no car troubles. God is placing us where we need to be, so I just have to have faith in that.
Things have been really stressful on the home front. My mom is still so depressed after her father dying and daddy leaving her in the same week, but she’s getting better. She found a really good job and has a nicer apartment than the one I have. My dad, who is in Ft. Wayne right now, is quitting his job with no new one yet. (Yeah, I’m doing the same thing, but at least we have plans and know where we’re going). I don’t know, it’s just all so frustrating to see my mom hurt and confusing as to why dad is doing what he’s doing. I need to get away for my own sanity’s sake. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family to death and they are the most important people to me, but I can’t be the person that I need to become if I stay here. I have finally realized that and I’m glad I’ve learned that lesson while I am still young enough to do something about it.
On the TTC front, we’re putting a screeching halt to that at the moment. I’m not temporarily giving up one child to raise another without being settled. That’s just cruel. It sucks that we’re putting it on hold, but as Brannen has always said, everything in its time. Those words took me a long time to understand because I am the type to want immediate gratification and I’ve learned a LOT of patience this past year, which has been a wonderful thing. I am so very grateful that God put Brannen in my path. We were definitely meant to be together. Life has been rough for the both of us, but we’re together in it for the long haul and we both know that. We’ll probably get married before we head out. I think it’s around 40 dollars at the courthouse, so that’s not too bad. My engagement ring (a gorgeous gold Claddaugh) broke, so it’s getting fixed now and hopefully will be done by next Monday.
On Sunday we went to my mom’s house for my sister Sara’s birthday. It really was a very nice day. It was very hard not to tell them the plans going on, but we will soon. I had to tell them that Joey was on his fall break (even though that’s not for another 2 weeks). I hate lying, but they just wouldn’t understand yet, since there is still so much more planning that we have to do and we just don’t have the answers for them yet anyway.
Sunday night, my sister Renee called and she had already talked to mom about the birthday party and dad calling Sara on her cell phone to wish her a happy birthday and all that good stuff and she starts going in on dad again. She won’t give me straight answers and she is very frustrating to deal with. She was going on and on about dad having a new girlfriend or whatever and I asked her if he had told her that himself and she wouldn’t answer me, so I asked her again. She finally said, “it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what he’s doing”. And then I said, “unless you hear it from him, how do you know for sure?” Then she comes back with “well, whatever you need to believe…”. I told her not to be condescending with me and she said she wasn’t… Yeah, she was and I just ended up telling her I was going to bed and she hung up. I hate when she does this crap. I love my family, but give me a break! She likes to goad me, this I know. But it still sucks. So, now we’re not on speaking terms yet again. She just needs to run her mouth.
I’m still planning on updating every few weeks even though Joey is at his dad’s and we’ll be on the road. I enjoy having my diary and I think it’s important since I’ve already started and have had such a nice time working on it. I’ll post at least one more entry before we head out and if we stop by a library or something, I can make updates on the road. I’ll be keeping a diary log with me anyway, while we’re driving.
Well, I think this is definitely one of my longer entries. If anyone has any advice for being on the road or traveling light, I’d love to hear. We have two tents and sleeping bags, plus the tipi, and we’ll have all the dry goods we’ll need, but I’m always open for suggestions or tips. We’re starting in Indy, driving through Illinois to visit my sister (if she ever straightens up), maybe stop in Iowa to visit my grandma, onto Utah to pick up the tipi, then to Vegas so Brannen can see the sights (I LOVE Las Vegas!!!), then we might stop in southern California to see his brother and SIL, then to Oregon along the Columbia River. I can’t wait to head out!
Well, time for me to go. I’ll update before I leave.
Love to all,
Rachel—heading toward adventure
 |  |
|
want to keep a diary on iParenting?
Authoring a diary on the iParenting network allows you to chronicle your family's story, preserving it for years to come. It's also a great way to get the most out of the iParenting community. Click here to start...
|
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families. 
