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April 27, 2001
Since my last 3 entries are lost in cyberspace I figure I'll give it another shot so everyone is up to date.
Our new addition, Merideth Renee arrived last Thurs.This next part some of you may have already read, but I think it's important to be said here:
(I'll turn this over to hubby)
Mommy and baby are fine. Dr. Spino says Merideth has Down's Syndrome. By
this our purpose in life will undoubtedly be adjusted as God uses this
little girl to teach Suzi and I especially, and to a degree that
diminishes
with distance from us, all of our family and friends around us about what
is
really important to Him for our existence.
You know, to fix Merideth I'd retroactively give up all my old car and
truck
parts and life - the rare-as-hens-teeth 455 Pontiac V8 block and crank I'm
using to build a new motor for the ol' 73 to-boot! On top of it I'd give
up
all of the rest of my life's strengths but for what I need to provide for
and protect my family with. There is simply not enough that is "of me" to
give to Him though. I don't think that exchange is what God is after
anyway. Those strengths in me are ultimately His and are to be used in
His
way
He is after our repentance and reconciliation to Him. All else is
temporal.
He is after that same from our families and friends around us. I expect
that through Merideth He will bring some around us to question Him and
even
doubt Him more. I think that if He could talk to me directly that He
would
say "Mike, you show me a person who doubts me for this, and I will show
you
a person who is opened up enough to ask the really tough questions about
Me,
the origin of the universe, and the meaning of life, and one who is
eventually repentant to Me for it! You go forth Mike and spend the rest
of
your days taking care of your family! That is what I expect of you."
By this, I believe our "bad" is God's good. If I believe that God is
omnipotent and righteous then I must conclude that all in His universe is
as
He willed it to be and is good in His eyes. I am then merely hung up on
my
own comfort and discomfort as my own criteria for definition of "good" and
"bad" from my own perspective. He is not bound by this. If I have ever
prayed that God would use me then Merideth's condition is probably part of
His answer.
Dear God, shame on all of us for needing the lesson of someone else's
hardship to bring us to You! I am grateful to You for the relationship
You
have allowed me to have with You. I believe it came with an extra burden
of
responsibility for me though. I am now charged with seeking You that much
more. I will need to in order to hold myself together with this and the
rest of my charges in life all combined upon my shoulders. I am likely to
be required to expend most of the rest of my life's strength to my dying
day
on this latest charge You have given to me. Make it worth it to You!
Make
it Your good!
Mike (now allowed to raise daughters and sons!)
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