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November 21, 2002
***CLEANING****
I went nuts last Monday night and went on a cleaning mission in Jt’s bedroom and just threw away tons of broken, old trashed toys. I re-organized all the toy boxes and bins. I put all the books in order and Jt and Alec’s room looks fantastic now and it has been easier to clean all week. There was just so much stuff and it was piling up and preventing the room from looking clean. Now that everything is organized the day runs smoother. Jt now likes his room to stay neat and is picking up after himself a little better. He gets upset when his little brother leaves a mess now.LOL now he knows how I feel every day. *giggle*
Not only did I clean his room as well as all the others I caught up on all the laundry and joined the Fly ladies e-mail group and have organized my house so much in just one week. We lay out school clothes for the next morning so our morning routine runs much smoother and I even have the kids cleaning of f their plates after meals and putting the dishes in the dishwasher. Yyyaaaaahhhh :o)
*****Star Wars Night*****
The boys of this home are Star wars nuts and of course as the last Star wars movie was released onto DVD Wednesday we HAD to have a Star Wars party. Well, the boys had a party and I went to a Creative Memories Meeting. Jt was so excited about the party and came straight home from school and got into his Anakin costume and even spiked his hair up like Anakin. He had a wonderful time with daddy and his friends and was so happy.:O) I love to see my little guy so happy and smiling.
****Giving JT meds before he wakes up all the way****
A women gave me tip about how to have a good morning with a child who has adhd. This tip has saved me many of mornings and has brought peace to our morning routine. I wake up at around 6 am and the first thing I do is wake Jt up a little and give him his medication. He goes back to sleep for about an hour and when he wakes up he is in a great mood and listens to me. He does not give me a hard time about getting dressed or about getting in the shower. There is no more arguing or yelling before he goes to school. It was so nice and I am so grateful for this tip. I used to drop jt off at school and feel so bad because we had spent the entire morning screaming at one another and arguing. I did not want my son’s last memory of me before he went to school each morning as this mean mommy who was mad at him.
******Anger management****
Even though our morning routine is improving there are still some issues we are dealing with that have me a bit concerned. Jt still has some anger issues that worry myself and his teacher. I hate to see my 6 year old get so MAD about things. He throws things around his room, he has hit me several times, he pushes his brother and sister in a fit of rage and if he gets frustrated at school he will throw something and it scares the other children. He also has intense crying/screaming jags that are very disturbing to watch. The social worker from school called me two days ago and we discussed what I was concerned about. She told me that she had observed him class during a math study and saw him get frustrated at some things. During our conversation she told me she was concerned that if Jt gets mad at me he will go seek out his brother or sister and push them even though they had nothing to do with it. She sent home a video I plan to watch this weekend on tools to help with behaviors and I hope it has some good tips. I have t admit I get a little nervous about talking to the social worked for fear that she is going to think joe and I bad at parenting. I know I am a good mother and I try my very best… I just can’t help but feel that way. We have been doing a lot of quiet talking with Jt when he goes into a fit and try to talk him down and get him through it. This seems to be working for him and I and we will stick to it.
****Opening up about myself*******
I am going to put myself out on a limb here and tell you that I was a screamer. :O( I hate to admit it, but when I was getting so frustrated and having a bad day I would scream and sound like my 4 year old. It recently got to the point where I was screaming and didn’t even know I was doing it. :O( My poor kids, I felt so bad for them. I decided I had to stop one day when I had just had a 15 minute screaming match one day right before church with Jt and my throat was killing me I just sat on the stairs and cried. I could not believe that I had just sat there and yelled at a 6 year old before we were about to go to church. What the heck was I teaching him? My mother is a wonderful mom and I love her more then anything, she is my hero… she screamed at me, her mother screamed at her…. It was a trend that I finally had to say NO to and I am going to stop it. No wonder Jt screams at me all the time.. :O( He thinks that is how he needs to communicate with me. I am trying though and the last month has been much better and quieter in our house. I refuse to yell anymore. I just don’t do it anymore. :O) I will admit that it is SO hard and there are times when I just get up and leave the room so I do not scream at the kids. When the kids are yelling and jumping around it takes everything I have in me to not scream above them to be heard. I have found that when I hear my mom yelling now I will quietly say sssssshhh lets take it down a little and not yell slowly, I am getting over it. It is almost as though I was addicted (?) to screaming. You can’t control it and don’t know you are yelling until you are done. I felt so out of control with what was happening and with just life in general, I felt the only way I could get any control was to yell. I could never have been so wrong. Yelling did not get me respect, yelling did not get me love, heck at the end of all this, yelling didn’t even get the kids to do what I wanted them to. Mommy yelling didn’t even mean anything to them now. They just ignored me or screamed back at me. :O( So in the end of all this… I refuse to yell anymore… I am no longer a mean ol’ mommy who yells! :o)
That is all for now~ More later. :O)
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