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Expert Q&A
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| By Elizabeth Pantley Child Behavior Expert Better Beginnings, Inc. | ||
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My 5-year-old is asking for lots of privacy lately. When I ask him why, he won't say, but has expressed the desire to play while naked. Is this normal?
Many children at this age begin to want privacy when they bathe or dress. They also become curious about their bodies and many begin to explore their private areas, just as they explore other parts of their body. This is a time when some children discover masturbation. While this is all very normal, it is good that you are aware of what is going on.
Some children masturbate when they are bored. If this is the case, make sure that your son has lots of activities to keep him busy, he'll find less time to spend alone in his room.If you have religious views that prohibit masturbation, don't resort to punishment or shame to stop your child, as this can backfire and force your child to hide this activity and then feel guilty and ashamed. Instead, calmly explain your feelings in words your child can understand. Let him know that it's normal to have a desire to masturbate, but then proceed with your thoughts and feelings about why you feel he shouldn't. Also, give your child specific suggestions for how to handle his natural urges.
This is a good time to purchase a book about sexuality and development. Read it yourself, first, because there's lots of stuff you may have forgotten, and some things you may not even know! Share it with your child at an appropriate time. Let your child know that you're available to answer any questions.
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