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Home › Expert Q&A › Appearance and Body Image › My very thin 10-year-old has started saying she's fat and wants to go on a low-calorie diet. I know she's hearing this at school. What should I do?

Expert Q&A

 

By Eve Eliot
Eating Disorder Expert

My very thin 10-year-old has started saying she's fat and wants to go on a low-calorie diet. I know she's hearing this at school. What should I do?

You are absolutely right in assuming that your daughter is hearing about diets from people at school.

Take a look at what is going on in your family also. Do female relatives -- aunts, grandmothers, cousins, etc. -- pay a lot of attention to their weight? Are you yourself concerned about your weight?

Ask yourself if there is anything going on in your household at this time that may be unsettling for your daughter. If there is, address that with her in a comforting way.

Above all, do not tell her she is not fat, because she will only stop listening at that point and feel as though you are arguing with her. Hear what she is really saying. Hear that she is really saying a variety of things: She is saying she wants to fit in; she is saying that she doesn't really know for sure what she looks like. This is common in young girls of that age group.

Then, instead of talking with her about weight loss or dieting, let her know that eating fruits and vegetables is the best way to keep her weight appropriate.

If she persists in wanting to talk about dieting, explain to her that dieting makes people fat in the long run because of the feeling of deprivation that results from restricting food or food groups.

Let her know that ADDING fruits and vegetables is the best way to go. Actually, because it is so common for young people to eat processed food that comes in packages, eating fruits and vegetables will serve her well for her whole life and WILL help keep her weight stable. Since she is already lean, the addition of fruits and vegetables can only improve her health.

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