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Expert Q&A
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| By Susan Bartell Licensed Psychologist | ||
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What are your thoughts about allowing a 5-year-old to continue to sleep with his parents instead of her own bed in her own room?
It is important for a child to learn to put herself to sleep and to stay asleep during the night, because these are self-soothing skills, which when learned, will be important skills to use in many frustrating or upsetting situations when she needs to soothe herself. It is far more difficult to teach these important sleeping skills when she is in the bed with you.
Also, older children sometimes begin to feel that their parents keep them in the parents' bed, because they are too anxious to separate. This could lead to the child becoming anxious or developing difficulties with separation. This being said, if you have a family bed, it is important not to make an older child leave the bed while a younger one remains. This will cause jealousy or sibling rivalry.
In general, it may be difficult to wean a 5-year-old from your bed. So if you decide to move her out of your bed, consider putting a mattress on the floor next to your bed so she doesn't feel suddenly abandoned."
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