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Expert Q&A

	By Diana Jones Safety Expert

Not long ago, a police officer came to my 8-year-old daughter's school to talk about safety issues. He made a great impression -- my daughter isnow afraid to be home alone, afraid to walk to and from her school bus stop (it's half a block away), afraid to wander the mall with her friends ... in short, she only feels safe when I'm with her. How can I help her feel safeeven when I'm not around?

While safety education for children about strangers is necessary, it does not have to be frightening to be effective. Too often, safety instructionof this sort is given as a lecture in a classroom setting by a male policeofficer or counselor who, no matter how nice and calm he may try to be, is perceived as intimidating and frightening to a child. At RUN*YELL*TELL I have structured my instruction very differently to ensure that children are not scared. By using a workshop format, we are able to attend to their fears if they exist and replace them with knowledge and confidence while guaranteeing that they get the maximum benefit from and retention value forthe material that they learn.

Often, parents inform me that their child has received information somewhere else and that this information created fear and paranoia in the child. There are things that you can do to quell this uneasiness in achild and still make sure they have the invaluable safety-preserving information they need.

It is important to acknowledge and address their fears. Do not discount them. A good dialogue might include some things like this: I know thepossibility that something could happen to you is very frightening. It isfrightening for Mommy as well, which is why she is glad you have learned some safety rules. Remember, just knowing these rules makes you safe,because you now know how to avoid a problem, and problems like the ones you heard about don't happen very often. By following the rules you learned, you should be safe.

Following a conversation like this, it is very helpful to review the safety rules and make sure that they accurately address the specific needs and concerns of your family. By discussing the rules and confirming for your child how simple they are to follow and how effectively they will work to maintain your child's safety, your child should feel significantly more secure. Feeling completely comfortable with the safety rules and getting over fears that they may have will probably not happen overnight. As timegoes on and the child gains assurance that nothing is going to happen andt hat she knows how to use the rules, the original fears should disappearand a feeling of confidence and safety should return. Remember, not every child is ready for the same amount of responsibility at the same time. Just because other children her age are staying home alone doesn't mean your child is ready to do so.

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