As a teacher, I appreciate how you want to work with your child's teacher to help improve his behavior. Working as a team is a great first step towards success. It sends a signal to your son that his parents know what's going on at school and his teacher hears about home life as well. He will begin to understand that everyone is working together to help him.

First, you need to make time to meet with your son's teacher. Talk openly about his behavior, and discuss some of the strategies that work at home to help control his acting-out. If there are specific concerns you have regarding her "strictness," bring them up at this time. Age 6 is still young to be required to sit for long periods of time. If he is unfortunately being asked to do so, and his teacher won't change this, make sure he gets a lot of active time at home and outside to release all his extra energy from the day!

Here are some strategies you may want to suggest. These have worked for me in the past with my overly active students:

• I have appointed children with "extra energy" messenger. They bring notes, supplies, memos, etc. to other teachers for me. I have to admit I sometimes gave them a note for a teacher across the building that read, "Jimmy just needed to take a walk. Thanks!" (Remember this only works with children who don't read yet in case they peek.)
• With the parent and child, I created a behavior chart focusing on two or three behaviors we really wanted to improve. At the end of each day, the child and I would complete the chart with smiley, straight mouth, or sad faces and send it home. Mom and Dad would discuss it with their child, initial it, and send it back. At the end of every week, we would tally up the faces and either give a predetermined reward or consequence based on the number of smiley faces received.
• Rewards and consequences were given at school and at home and were based on what was important to the child. Some home rewards might be renting a video, going for ice cream, baking cookies, or going to the zoo or a movie. Some consequences might be not being allowed to watch a favorite TV show, having to put his favorite blocks away for the weekend, an earlier bedtime, or no video games.
• I have used private signals with some children to let them know they are being disruptive. Many times a child is unaware he is making noise, fidgeting, or acting out. These signals often help a child gain control of his behavior without drawing additional negative attention to the situation.
• I usually ask children who are often disruptive to sit in the front of the classroom or next to me during class discussions, away from others who seem to evoke negative behavior from them.
• Sometimes giving an overactive child something quiet and safe to fidget with can be helpful. Try a small piece of clay.

Remember, it is important to work with your child's teacher. If your son knows you don't like his teacher, it can exacerbate his acting out. He may feel he can get away with it because you will take his "side" over the teacher's "side." Good luck!