When infants and toddlers are introduced to new foods, they're usually quite clear in demonstrating their likes and dislikes. By the time kids are older, feeding them healthy, well-rounded meals can be even more of a struggle.

Feeding a child and understanding and loving a child are closely woven. As a parent, it is your responsibility to try and understand where your child is coming from. You might wonder what this has to do with making sure your child gets all his vitamins, but it really does matter. There is a very thin line between the physiological need for food and the emotional need for food. For many people in this world, food became an emotional need at some point early in life. Your approach to mealtime can greatly determine how your child eats and views his relationship with food for the rest of his life.

The good news is that it's easy to prepare a well-rounded meal: serve a vegetable, a fruit, a protein, a starch or grain and offer bread with the meal. The bad news is that it's difficult to get the child to eat the meal. Parents say things like, "Johnny, you have to try the broccoli, eat just a couple bites -- or no dessert." Or they worry because their child is eating too much or not drinking milk with the meal or not drinking anything at all. The focus shifts from providing a nourishing meal and having a chance to spend quality time together to controlling mealtime behavior. This is not healthy.

Eating is a joy and is often used as the centerpiece to celebrations. When we want to celebrate we propose, "Let's go out to dinner." Imagine your family mealtimes as mini-celebrations. Celebrate the time you have as a family unit. Don't bicker back and forth about taking "just one more bite" or who did what wrong that day. Meals like that become stressful and unpleasant for all.

In How to Get Your Kid to Eat -- But Not Too Much, registered dietitian and family therapist Ellyn Satter covers the vast range of behavior issues parents face daily.

Satter explains that overall, children need support and structure in every aspect of their lives. When these needs are met, children are confident and secure. To put theory into practice, Satter suggests allowing school-age children to select their own snack. You, the parent, provide the structure: what time the snack is served, the choices available, and your child chooses what to eat. Follow up by providing a regularly scheduled meal.

Satter recommends avoiding criticism at mealtimes. "Studies have shown that children eat less and do not do as well nutritionally when they are catching a lot of criticism from their parents -- on any topic, not just eating." She reminds parents that children 6 to 10 years old are experimenting with food intake. "They learn that some is good, but enormous quantities are not necessarily any better. They learn what their limits are, and they make some fine adjustments in their ability to regulate their food intake." She cautions parents to expect changes in their children's appetite. Every day is different: one day they eat next to nothing, the next day they are ravenous.

She explains the difference between a truly picky eater and one who is manipulating the parent to get what they want. "You keep a child from being capriciously or manipulatively finicky by presenting food to her in a neutral fashion so she can approach it and find out about it at her own speed. Give her the same consideration in planning menus that you do the rest of the family -- put out a variety of food, don't offer substitutes, and let her pick and choose from what is available."

If you are worried about a picky eater getting enough "good stuff" to eat, set a good example. Serve a food enough, and let your child see you eating and enjoying the food. Eventually, curiosity will get the better of him, and he'll try it.

You can't force your child to eat, but you can provide structured mealtimes and healthful foods. And you can trust your child to know how to regulate his eating habits.

There is no question that eating is a complicated event. It's an awesome responsibility: As a parent, you can shape your child's independence and confidence through mealtime. That is why it is so important to understand that how you interact at meals, and what your relationship to food is, can prevent or promote many problems. Food brings security and is a supporter of joy, sorrow, and many other emotions. Think about all the emotional ties food has for you. Are they positive? How did your family during your childhood spend mealtimes? Put yourself in your child's shoes and stop thinking, "This is payback for what my parents did to me."

If you are truly worried about your child's nutrition, check with your pediatrician. But bear in mind: food is nourishing. So is love. As a parent you can strengthen that delicate line by supplying a healthy balance of both.